Stockholm Syndrome
by shukaka
Summary: Deaidara has caught the love fever, something Tobi isn't happy about. But underneath the girl Deidara likes lies a hidden relationship between them, long buried that neither even know about. Will love be the cost? Will it last? Swearing and sexual scenes.
1. Chapter 1

Hi, everyone, well this was the first story I'd ever written and my writing style was HEAPS different back then, so I've downloaded all chapters I'd written and re-wrote all the pieces I didn't feel quite fitted. I hope that the change is not too drastic and that the story is still okay :)

Enjoy

Kate-

So my name is Katara, I'm 30 years old now and I've had an odd few decades. I remember myself as a teenager, the age of eighteen. I didn't think so then but I was a pretty girl, green eyes from my mum and wavy, red hair from my dad that held a rough centre parting and reached the small of my back. I knew my parents but they passed away when I was quite young, leaving me nothing but my mothers locket. Let me take you back to when I met Deidara, now he came to me at a very strange point in my life, sometimes I think it was the worst thing he could have ever done and sometimes I wonder how it could have ever been any different.

It was just another typical day in Konoha, Tsunade continuously ranting on about how she has _so much tedious work to do, _ordering poor Shizunai around, near to death (not that she'd take much notice if Shizune had fallen to her death unless it was after she was due to bring Tsunade her ritualistic alcohol before...anything). Jiraiya hopefully looking out for possible targets for his apparent 'research', while giving Naruto mindless tasks to complete and waste his _own _time on, mind you they wouldn't be a half bad waste of time if Naruto had the intellect to comprehend. Sasuke focusing his undivided attention on avoiding Ino the blonde bimbo and tracking Sakura the pink bombshell, Ino focusing her attention on stalking the heart throb Sasuke and avoiding the annoying pinkette Sakura.

The morning sun streaked shadows long and narrow, descending far in the west, it really was beautiful though, you no longer had to deal with that tedious ANBU shit they put you through, life was as great as it was allowed to be. Well, at least it should have been but being the apathetic, 'nonconforming' teenager I was of course I wanted change, fireworks, gunshots, something..

Strolling along 'minding my own business' (if that's what they call stalking your close friends these days) Neji and Tenten were obviously _quite _busy under the lamppost, and looked like Naruto got some free time too, he and Hinata were eating sushi..._her _favourite. But then...then I sensed a sudden disturbance, a rustling, maybe...wings? Of course common sense would have told me to survey the area from ground to sky and act on my instinct, but no I was just too _intelligent _for that wasn't I? I was former-Anbu _extroirdanaire, _nothing could sneak up behind me, eh?

**WHAM.**

_Hey, Deidara: Do you remember the time we first met? The day you were ordered to capture me? "...just another recruit..." you scoffed. Hey, Deidara, If you'd have known what I was like back then, if you'd had the same feelings as you do know, as if from some insane natural instinct...would we have ended differently?_

I awoke without any form of headache or apprehension, just a pain in the ass, quite literally.  
"Mhhhfmmnnnaasdfghjkl..." I mumbled...  
Cold wind was rushing through my fiery red hair, it seemed almost as I you were..._flying? The breeze tingling my neck, making my hairs stand on end._  
"Your finally awake" A figure in sitting in front of me stated..."You sleep like there's no tomorrow, not even a bomb could wake you...I know, I tried."

I studied him to the best of my ability. The bright light (which I could only assume as being the sun) allowed only a silhouette for me, but I could vaguely make out a blonde ponytail and muscular arms.

"What? Who are you?" _Oh, Katara, do you never think before you speak?_  
"Temper...temper...my name is Deidara and I am led to believe yours is...Katara, and...it's common courtesy to give your name before asking for another's." He stated with a grin.

This was the type of guy that wolf-whistled at whores, the type of guy that got drunk and blamed it on the wife for letting him, the type of hair-straightening, fake-tanning, tight-shirt-wearing _arrogant ass hole MORON _that I hated so deeply for patronising women, yet even though I'd only met him not even a minute earlier the subtle cheekiness didn't allow for anger._  
_  
He wore a rough, battered, black cloak designed with blood-red clouds.  
-Sigh-

The Akatsuki "So, I suppose your taking me to the Akatsuki?"  
Deidara looked back in surprise  
"Y-yes, you catch on quick."  
So troublesome...damn...you were starting to sound like Shikamaru.  
_-Several sticks of gum and a meaningless conversation later-  
-_  
"Well, we're here."  
"Well done, somebody's perceptive today, aren't we?."  
-Grin-  
_She certainly had an attitude on her_

I confidently walked straight in after Deidara showed me through the entrance, my locket seemed to heat and emanate an uncomfortable warmth, a somewhat warning that these people were dangerous. _Tell me something I don't already know?._ I ignored any apprehension and tucked it under my shirt with a smile.  
"This way-" Deidara instructed , I shot him a confused look.  
"To see the leader...?" he replied  
-blush-  
"Yeah...aight"  
Everyone looked at me as you walked by, if they thought that they were the dwarves and I was going to be their snow white then they had another thing coming.  
_Bastards.  
_Quickly deciding against my initial judgement to hurt insults at them I continued to focus my attention on looking at me feet and following Deidara.  
His feet stopped and so did I, almost walking into him in the process. With a weary sigh he knocked on the intricately designed door to the greeting of: "DON'T JUST FUCKING STAND THERE, ENTER"

"He's not in the best of moods"whispered Deidara and urged me in, I reluctantly went.  
I closed the door behind me and walked in, my dainty steps tapping on the marble floor and echoing around the large room. The ceiling must have been at least twenty feet high and a beautiful mural was painted on it depicting some kind of medieval battle. The walls were lined with large paintings, all of amazing and intricate detail apart from one which was covered by a velvet cloth.

The 'Leader' sat behind a large, ornate wooden desk set with gold trinkets several stacks of velum which had long-since been abandoned as made apparent by the thick layer of dust, a single inkwell with an ostrich-feather quill lay on the desk with an overflowing ashtray, several empty bottles and a pack of Rizla. He had a cigarette in hand.

He himself didn't seem that intimating of a person, until he opened his eyes. He held the beautiful kekkei genkai (blood-line limit) known as the Rinnegan, one had to instruct themselves not to look for too long as it was practically mesmerising.

"Katara, dear" He greeted me as if I was an old friend yet with all the enthusiasm of a dried up lemon. "Don't look so shy, take a seat...cigarette?" He gestured to a maroon. Velvet armchair in front of the desk and offered me a marlboro, well...I was never one to reject a kind offer. I took a lighter he offered me and inhaled the the sweet, sweet nicotine.  
"You are...Katara, I presume?"

"Oh well I should hope so, otherwise this trip was certainly wasted on me"

He chuckled. "That's funny, aha, I like it you're funny."

"Hn"

"Hows that working out for you?"

"What?"

"Being funny?"

"Oh, its great."

"Excellent, excellent...that's a nice piece of jewelry." I saw something glisten in his eye, lust maybe?

"Aa. I know, beautiful isn't it?." I fingered the gold chain and studied it.

"Much like it's host.."

"Charmed, I'm sure. But you can't have it."

"Oh, but I'd be prepared to bargain, I'm sure there must be a price for beauty of..that standard"

"There is not price"

He frowned. "Not even...these?" He produced from his sleeve a beautiful string of glistening, white pearls. They were beautiful, I wanted to own them. I wanted to wear them everyday and I wanted other women to want to steal them from me.

I stood up and looked him in his eyes.

"Didn't you hear me? I'm not selling"  
"Arrogance isn't a charming trait in a young lady" he dead panned.

"Oh yeah?" I was growing angry "What's your excuse?" I growled.

-Deidara's POV-

I heard shouting from Leader-sama's office, damn it, that girl picked the worst possible person to throw a tantrum at. What was she thinking, who did she think she was? She'd have us both excluded!

"I'M NOT INSINUATING ANYTHING, AND HOW VERY DARE YOU SHOUT AT ME LIKE THAT"  
"I'LL FUCKING SHOUT AT YOU ALL I FUCKING WANT!"  
"NOT IF YOU'RE TO BE IN MY ORGANISATION YOU WON'T" -By then most of the Akatsuki members had crowded outside to listen-

"Who said I wanted to be in your crappy organisation anyway? It's not like I signed up for this on a piece of paper pinned to a tree!" I snarled, the words somehow being forced through my gritted teeth.

"I did."

"It should be my choice! It's my life and I don't expect some, some...egotistic maniac to lead it!"

Before I could say anything more, a pair of white hands clenched around my wrists from behind, taking me by surprise and also preventing me from going any further.

"Enough..." The cool words sliced through the air, though it was only quiet, the voice reverberated of the stone, filling everyone's ears, it was somewhat..._manipulative._

As I turned my head around the red tips of your hair whipped through the air, slicing through oxygen.

Green eyes met cerulean orbs.

Deidara wore a stern expression on his face, controlling yet at the same time, cheekily smexy.

-smirk-

I quickly broke free of his weak grasp and no sooner five pairs of hands, struggling but nonetheless, prevented me from continuing my rant.

_What a bunch of pricks.  
_


	2. Chapter 2

After a successful entrance to the organisation the Akatsuki members all involved themselves in a wild strip-poker night and Konan got laid by every single member.

Aha, she wishes.  
-One week later-

Tobi had a shocking resistance from dying, much to the disappointment of the other members, and it seemed that I had been acquainted pretty well with, _well,_pretty much everyone.  
Apart from...  
1. I refused to lend Kakuzu ANY money  
2. I refused to be sacrificed to Jashin, much to the dismay of Hidan  
3. I refused to become Zetsu's daily meal  
4. I refused to make shark-face sushi  
5. I refused to lend Itachi my eyes  
6. I refused to eat Tobi's crayon and thumb-tack sandwich  
7. I refused to let Pein...actually that sheep-shagger had so far managed not to asked me to do anything BUT I STILL REFUSED.  
8. I refused to be made into one of Sasori's puppets, but he just said he'd only kill me any time soon, he'd _hate _to be made to wait until I actually die.  
Apart from those _minor setbacks I_ was pretty much best friends with Konan, and got along with Deidara as well as captor/hostage could.  
I looked in the mirror at myself, today would be the day where I make an effort to look nice for a change and I know just the girl that could help me with that.

"No, Katara...you don't do it like that...oh my god don't look at me like that, what do you think you do with mascara...put it in your eyebrows? There you go, you look great!" So far we'd curled my hair and put fresh roses in it, covered the basics of foundation, mascara and various lipsticks and my nails had just dried, we were sitting in the middle of her bed discussing many important life queries.

"So you think he's totally fit right?" I chuckled and blushed at Konans...abrupt annotations of appearance.

"I guess, I mean I like his blue eyes, and he always smells pretty..."

"He totally likes you Katara, I mean any time we try to mention girls to him its just 'ugh I don't want a girlfriend, uughh I don't like girls, im a gay homosexual faggot' but trust me he blushes when he looks at you"

I chuckled at Konans impression of Deidara, it was shockingly accurate and complete with crossed-eyes.

"Oh yeah?" I volunteered "Well just look at Pein, he totally wants you"

She winked at me "I know he does, I'm working my way there slowly and sweetly" Good old Konan.

"I think that although they all think they're hard and have a wall to show, they're really sweet and gentle inside, they're just boys"

"You're right Katara, none of them are really that bad"

We made our way to the living room, Pein had announced that he'd be away at some important meeting for the week and so we were to entertain ourselves until he got back.

I stopped dead in my tracks.

Hidan sat at the table with Kakuzu drinking an unidentifiable liquid, assumed to be alcohol, with an overflowing ashtray playing some form of card game. Deidara and Sasori sat, slumped mindlessly slaving in front of the television, eyes open mouths shut. Itachi sat reading a book, seemingly unaware that it was upside down. Tobi lay curled up by Deidara's feet. These boys were the future of the Akatsuki? These festering parasites were expected to be the elite of the elite of the elite? As I locked a gaze with her I was sure Konan was thinking the exact same thing.

I coughed, in a bid to draw attention.

Nobody moved.

I stalked over to the gamblers, picked up both of their glasses, drained the stinging alcohol down my throat and took a pull from Hidan's cigarette before stubbing it out. Konan unplugged the television, much to the protest of Deidara, I walked over to Itachi and snatched the book out of his hands, it was a children's story about a chicken who disobeyed it's parents.

"What the hell are you reading?" I demanded.

"I...don't know, I cant really see it."

By now most of the members had risen to their feet but each were indistinguishable in the array of voices.

"Everyone..." Nobody listened.

"Hey...shh!" Nobody listened.

I inhaled. "I WANT EVERYBODY TO SHUT THE FUCK UP NOW, EVERYONE, YES HIDAN THIS APPLIES TO YOU TOO, YOU ARE IN THE CATEGORY OF EVERYONE, SIT THE FUCK DOWN"

Blank expressions, everybody sat.

Konan joined my side.

"What are you doing? Watching mindless television, playing card games, looking at a book you cant read, sleeping in the middle of the day?" Tobi winced and hid behind his sleeve at that last jab.

"Man, I see in Akatsuki the strongest and smartest ninja who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering, God damn it, an entire generation drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes, watching what the government wants you to see. Slaves to advertisement. We are this generation, man. We may not have a purpose or place, no great war, no great depression but does that mean we can just sit here and fester as our lives tick by second by second? We've been raised to believe that one day we'll all be millionaires and Kage's and Ninja God's. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact, and we're very pissed off..."

Murmurs of agreement started to echo each other around the room.

"So...what are we gonna do about it?" Asked Hidan gingerly.

"Something, we're at least gonna do something about this."

Konan and I soon had everyone sorted out.

Picture us, in the gardens with the Akatsuki lined up in height order wearing plain black t-shirts, jeans and black boots.

"One thing you wish you'd done before you die, shoot."

Nobody spoke.

"Nobody's got anything to say, eh? Konan, go." Konan retrieved a gun from her back pocket. I covered my ears and she fired. She pulled the trigger and fired at the first in line, Sasori. Luckily we trusted him to dodge the bullet.

"What the FUCK DO YOU THINK YOURE DOING, YOURE FUCKING CRAZY" He screamed.

"Let me ask again, one thing you wish you'd done before you die."

Sasori said he'd wanted to paint a portrait, Kakuzu said he'd wanted to teach his son to gamble, Hidan said he'd wanted to take his own son robbing houses on Christmas just like his father did, Tobi wanted a sandwich, Kisame said he'd wanted a pet fish, Itachi wanted to see his little brother, Deidara wanted to learn how to make pancakes.

"Um...Katara?" Hidan gingerly raised a hand, an action we'd fought long and hard about but had eventually reached an agreement too considering raising a hand was much less harsh than losing his manhood.

"Yes, Hidan?"

"What was the point of that?"

"Well, you've got to know the answer to that question, if you died now how would you feel about your life...because someday, and trust me whatever Jashin says, someday you will die."

Later that evening we all sat huddled around a roaring fire eating cooked elk we'd stalked earlier somewhere in the forest, for some reason home-cooked food always tasted better than shop-bought processed pig crap.

"You know..." It was Itachi's voice, he never usually spoke without prompt and even then it wasn't usually much more than a grunt.

"We're pretty free, we don't have ties, we don't have anything holding us back, we can do pretty much anything we want." The nine of us pondered over Itachi's words for some time, although strange they were true, maybe the fact that we all collectively had nothing meant that we were all pretty free. I think it must have been after at least an hour had passed that Kisame said "You came to us at a very strange time in our lives, Katara."


	3. Chapter 3: LEMON

Hi everyone :)

So it's been two years since i've updated this story! I can't believe how differently I used to write, however I will try and keep the style veru much the same :)

I wonder if anyone still remembers this story anyway, I apologise forleaving it so long to update, ive been very very busy!

3

The sun shined.

It moved and danced around me, heating my tender skin.

I rested my elbows on the window pane, lay my head on my arms and sighed.

_"Can you hear me, Mum...Dad? Are you out there?"_

The locked burned.

I picked it up with my thumb and forefinger and examined it, it was made of a briliant white-gold set with a quartz, the clasp had been moulded into a beautiul tiny rose to prevent the locket from ever being opened although when it was held up to the window and the sunlight curved its way in and out of the crystal it seemed almost alive.

It was the last thing I had to remind me of my parents.

_"Katara..." A soft voice weaved and dance through the air, it sang through my childish ears and my lips pursed into a cheeky grin. I shut my eyes tight and pulled the cover over my head. "Don't try and hide from me, I know you're there" It was getting closer.I heard my door shut in the distance but I didn't shift my geise, a body sat on my bed and yanked the covers from my grasp, the morning light burned my eyes and I blinked to adjust to it, "mmm, mummy i'm tired.." I looked at her, she was the kind of woman who's face was purely addictive, although she was in her late twenties her skin still held the youth of a teenager, it was pale and sometimes almost sparkled in the sunlight, she has bright emerald eyes that eminated a deep knowledge, her kind smile never faltered and her yellow hair shined and glistened on her back._

_"Listen darling.." she sang, I listened and faintly heard birds sing "Birds mummy!" I announced, "well done my beauty, listen closer" she rustled my red hair and stroked my chubby cheeks. My ears struggled to hear much else but as I concentrated more deeply I heard ants crawl along the soil, I heard bees buzz around a man who laughed. Who's laugh I recognised. Her gaze lay on me and she raised an eyebrow inviting me to answer, "I heard...ants, and bees, and daddy?" She laughed and smiled "Yes child, it's daddy" and ,as if invited, he walked though the door and stood next to my mother. He rested his hand on her shoulder as she turned to him and gave a lingering kiss, they held eachothers gaze for a second more and turned to me. He had dark red hair that shined and deep-set,brown eyes that remembered everything they saw, he leant over and kissed my cheek with warm lips. "Now, listen baby, mummy and daddy have a mission to go on.." i opened my mouth in protest but he silenced me with a finger "No tears darling, we have to go, but don't worry, we'll be back soon and Buster will protect you" hearing his name mentioned, a yorkshire terrier bounced into the room and jumped on to bed, I sat up and giggled as I tangled his long fur in my fingers._

_"Good doggy, good doggy" I mused and my my parents laughed at me. "What are you and daddy doing mummy?" she paused before saying "Don't worry about that Katara, we'll only be gone for a day or two, and when we get back we can all train together and mummy will get us some Ramen and make a cake" my daddy laughed and hugged her. "Really mummy?" I jumped out of bed and squeezed her tightly and although I was eight she still picked me up and kissed me on the forhead, she put me on the ground and placed a beautiful locket around my neck "of course baby, anything you want, this was grandma's, and grandma's mummy's, and grandma's grandma's, then it was mine and now it was yours, keep it forever. Now sleep, sleep and dream all the wishes your heart make" they left and didn't return. _

_Four days later they were announced dead, a casualty of missionry. The funeral came some days later, the bodies, my parents, they lay silent in their generic coffins with their generic outfits and official hairstylings, they could have been sleeping, well they could have been anybody. Sarutobi, the third and current Hokage, performed an ancient and powerful ritual to my locket, although I was much too young I understood, and although he didn't have to do this he did it anyway, for me. For my parents. He kept a part of them in my locket, not a physical fleshy part but a spiritual part, although not physically they were there for me always._

I found myself crying, sobbing actually, I didn't really even know why. I don't know how long I stood there, it could have been hours it could have been seconds but it felt like a lifetime. My head swam with my earliest memories, and my heart sank and ached deep inside my chest. like I said, it could have been literally hours because I hadn't even noticed Deidara creep in, yet I didn't jump when he placed an affectionate hand on my shoulder and looked out the window.

"Why are you crying?" His words sliced through my memories and reality hit home, "I'm just remembering my old life.."

"Is being here really that bad?"

"It's not here, I meant life with my parents" I deadpaned and expected him to sigh, or walk away but instead he turned me around by the shoulders and looked me in the eyes.

"Listen" He chose his words carefully "I'm not gonna ask why or how or when and i'm not gonna pretend to understand how hard it is to lost somebody you love. I'm just going to say that we don't know what happens in death, we know just about as much as what we can anticipate happens in life the day we are born, and I know they're gone and that you miss them but know that they're always closer than you think, and if you want my opinion i think...well, I think that they'd be proud of you.."

I didn't really care if he felt comfortable or uncomfortable but I melted into his strong arms, and he embraced me.

"They were good people" I mumbled, "they fought for the greater good"

"I know we're in the Akatsuki, Katara, and I know sometimes not all of what we do is exactly...good-natured, but..take a lesson from the dead, don't kill your brothers with malice in your heart and don't let hatred destroy you. I guess the point is if we don't all come together, especially in times like these, we will be destroyed just like they were.." I looked up at him and he looked down at me, our eyes met and lingered for a few seconds, he steped back and scratched his back.

"Heh...how about we make some food or..something?"

I laughed "Sure".

Deidara can be such a dork...

*Dei's POV*

Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit. Why the fuck didn't I kiss her? Oh, because she doesn't like me that's why...well I don't even really like her, I mean I havent even known her that long. But what if we get married, oh snap what will her Dad think of me? I should get a haircut, oh wait he's dead. Shit, yeah her parents are dead. I think i'm going to have a heart-attack, hmm i'm hungry.

*Kataras POV*

"Um...are you okay Deidara?"

"Yeah, what? Yeah cool, kitchen.."

Deidara was being all twitchy and weird, maybe he needed to use the bathroom. I followed him through the winding hallways and passages to the communal kitchen.

"So whats cookin good looking?" He winked.

I blinked.  
"..what?"

"I said, what are we having?"

"Hmm...PANCAKES"

"Deal."

I went over to the cupboard and took out some flour, butter and milk.

"Katara, un?"

"Yeah?"

"How do you make pancakes?"

Oh my god, how could somebody not know how to make pancakes? I giggled as an idea planted it's seed in my mind, i dipped my hand in the flour and gingerly poofed it in his face.

"What was that for, un?" He took another bag of flour from the cupboard but I was too slow to retaliate, he dumped a heap of it on my head.

"Oh MY GOD!" I shrieked and shook it all over him, he laughed and rustled some more into my hair, pouting i threw a handful down his shirt and with a grunt he took it off and shook it all over me.

I stood and I looked at him, he looked at me, we looked at the kitchen covered from floor to ceiling in flour and I stepped forward and, lacing my arms round his neck, pressed my lips on his. The world danced around us and we were the centre, the two vigilante lovers , the eye of the storm, nothing mattered. But of course it was only a peck, barely even qualified as a kiss.

He bit my lip and i parted mine. _Ok, now it was so totally a kiss._

I opened my eyes and he look at me, he grinned cheekily and winked, placed the flour on the worktop and without a warning he picked me up and started walking.

"Whheeerrreee are we going, ahh?"

"You tell me, un"

We ended up in my bedroom.

In my bed, to be precise. He sat on top of me, his blonde fringe brushing my face, his lips an body eager against mine. My nails clawed into his back as he pulled me closer to him. He thrusted in and out of me at rapid speed and I moaned seductively, i think it was either the moan or what we ladies call 'The Shanghai Squeeze' that finished him off.

_Ok, so now it was totally more than a kiss._

"What...what do you call that?" He panted

"What?" I asked innocently, knowing full well what he meant.

"That last move, at the end"

_Ok, so it was the shanghai squeeze that finished him off...awesome._


	4. Chapter 4

I awoke in his capable arms.

I traced his defined muscles as he slept and his chest rose and fell with steady breaths. His beautifully tanned skin glistened with sweat and he held a grin on his face, I carefully stepped out of bed trying not to wake him so that I could shower.

I must have only been in the bathroom for a bout a half hour but by the time I'd returned he'd left...prick.

_Meanwhile in Pein's hall..._

"Eh...Deidara are you listening to me? This is vital information!"

Deidara rubbed his eyes, he could hardly keep them open, all he wanted to do was sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. . .

"Yeah yeah man, what you saying?"

Pein grunted and slammed a fist down desperately on his desk.

"What's going on with you Deidara?"

Light flickered in the corner of his eyes and his lids felt heavier and suddenly he just...they wouldn't stay open. Deidara felt the energy slowly drain out of him, through his neck till his feet couldn't support his body weight and his knees buckled under the pressure. The last thing he saw was Pein towering over him, he felt Pein pull his wrists and heave his limp body over his shoulder. He felt his shoulder dig in to him as he sighed.

Deidara and Pein resided in a bare room with nothing in it except a few chairs, a battered wardrobe and an iron bedstead.

Intense light burned his eyes and it felt like this was the first light he'd ever seen. Pein stood opposite Deidara staring at an upside down newspaper, feigning interest in it's words. Deidara stirred under a woollen blanket on a firm mattress. He felt as if there was a great weight hanging over him, threatening to collapse. Pein walked closer and drew up a battered wooden chair to the bedside so the two looked rather like patient and visitor.

"The asleep have awoken."

"What...how did I get here?" He sat upright to face the leader, desperately trying to find any recollection of the events that may have led him to be here. He failed.

Pein discarded the newspaper and straightened his back to look Deidara in the eyes.

"Deidara, do you ever feel that things are happening to you that may not be happening to the others?"

"What...? Pein, I've already gone through puberty that happened ages ago. . ." For a second Pein thought it may have been a joke but soon realised he was deadly serious.

"Not that, ha, no not that...I mean..do you ever feel that things in the past weeks have gone wrong for you for no reason? Do you even think that maybe luck is not on your good side or that you just can't be bothered?"

"Pein..." He hesitated "Doesn't everyone feel that way from time to time?"

"Look, Deidara you know I'm not stupid and I know you certainly aren't...I'm about to cut to the chase as it were, I've come to talk to you about Katara."

There was a silence. Deidara had frozen. His face expressionless but his eyes were flickering back and forth between each of Pein's, as thought trying to catch one of them lying.

"What about her?"

Pein's next move surprised Deidara more than anything but he remained unstirred. He stood up and walked over to kneel next to Deidara. He places is cool fingertips on to Deidara's heated temples.

His fingers broke the cool surface of Deidara's memories, he felt as if he were falling through darkness, his mind rushed through early childhood memories of himself as a boy at the mere age of ten. A born-killer. Already gone was the childish innocence that should have become him, gone was the tendencies of youth and eager gleam in his eyes replaced by system and monotone compulse. Deidara mentally followed his younger self through a series of steps which would have eventually led to his very first kill, the murder of a young couple, a man and a woman from the quaint village of Konohagakure.

His eyes shot open. He breathed as a flush of trepidation rose up his neck into his hollow cheeks; he looked fevered.

"Oh to feel youth's keen sting" Pein rather nonchalantly remarked.

Deidara ripped his touch from his temples, "Why are you showing me this?...Tell me the truth!"

He spoke the last three words with a ringing force that was almost shocking. It was a command, and It sounded as though he had given it many times before. His eyes had widened and he glared at Pein who had made no other response other than to continue smiling pleasantly. Deidara stopped glaring though he looked, if anything, warier still.

"Why...?" He breathed.

Pein turned to face him, serious now. "You must understand Deidara, that anything I tell you now, anything I've ever asked you to do was for the benefit of the greater good and, if not that, the benefit of yourself. All I've ever asked of you is your trust...do you trust me, Deidara?"

This kind of honestly made Deidara want to jump out of a 19th story window into a busy Monday morning Iwagakure street.

"I trust you, I just don't understand why this is important now of all times?"

"These people are something all of us here share, not these people specifically, but the moral still stands. The first kill you make haunts you for the rest of your life Deidara. Although, addmitedly, most of us have never had to face ours there are certain. . .reminders that can trigger spiritual contact..."

"So you're saying. . .i'm being fucking haunted by the fucking couple I murdered?"

"Not...haunted as such, more like influenced. I believe I have made a grave mistake in bringing Katara here, it is entirely my own fault...call it a lapse of concentration if you will..and I believe you may have already worked this out for yourself, being the smart capable ninja you are...Katara's parent's are the couple you murdered thirteen years ago"

He blinked.

...what?


	5. Chapter 5

It was nearing midnight and Deidara was still sitting on the iron bedstead reading the newspaper that Pein had discarded , it was slipping through his brain without leaving behind any trace of meaning. He was hiding from me as he guessed I would come looking and didn't want to have to face me. Between wondering when I would turn up and trying to suppress wretched memories of what had been a very long and tiring day there was not much room in his head for much else. The more he attempted to focus on the printed page before him the more clearly Deidara could see the face of his victims in every photo,

_Girl, 18, missing from Konohagakure. Assumed dead. Name: Katara._

Another life he'd ruined. Not only had he murdered my only family, he'd murdered my past identity too.

I knew he'd be here, I had no clue how, but I just knew. I burst through the door and he shot up to look at me, his face said it all. Something was wrong.

"What's happened?" I said, instantly worried

It didn't take him long to blurt it all out.

He stared intently into my eyes and traced a shaking finger along my jaw, his cold touch leaving my jaw shivering. My bottom lip quivered and I saw a lone tear escape his eye, it rolled down his porcelain cheek and trickled down my finger.

"Forgive me" he breathed, the hot air escaping his lungs froze my face even more.

I placed a hand on either side of his neck and felt the warmth of his skin evade my icy touch, I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry, I wanted to rip his heart out and lunge it at him so he could watch it still beat. I wanted to kiss every inch of his golden skin, I wanted to feel his pulsating muscles against mine, I wanted to caress him.

"You didn't mean it..." I franticly breathed, heaving back uncontrollable sobs, I swallowed every tear willing now even one to escape.

"You didn't know, you had no idea!" In one swift movement he ripped my touch from his neck and pinned my wrists against the stone wall behind me. He panted and struggled to find something to say.

"Deidara, I-"

"Look ..LOOK AT ME!" Tears rolled down his cheeks in a waterfall of breaths and emotion.

His words sliced through the air like a blade, slicing through my heart.

"I can help, please Deidara, I can help.." I was almost shouting in a desperate hurry to get him to calm down.

"I don't need your help!.. I had to do it,I had kill them!"

His last words faltered in his throat but they were still clear.

"Or..he was gonna kill me."He released his intense grip and collapsed on the edge of the bed, resting his head in his hands while both shook violently.

I couldn't watch, I ran out through the single door soon enough to still hear his tortured, wailing cries in the air much like my own.

I ran down the corridor, my surroundings a blur around me. My head span and i'd never felt my heart beat faster.

I ran till the muscles pumped intently in my thighs and I ran some more, I pushed past someone. I heard them faintly say something but gone was I too quick to even note their identity or their words.

I burst through a set of doors that I was previously unaware even existed. They opened into a beautiful garden, adorned with flowers of pale pink, salmon, maroon and all brilliant shades of silver and white.

Their beauty meant nothing to me, it might as well have been a bare hall. I ran more inhaling the putrid floral scent and the flowers brushed past me, petals getting caught in my hair on the way. I took a series of winding pathways and dodged trees that must have been at least 30 foot high, the flowers were now replaced with thorn bushes and bare branches, each one just as identical as the other. I slowed down to a halt as I waited for my breath to catch up with me, it rasped in my dry throat and several scratches I'd obtained on the way now made themselves known and burned on my skin.

I let my knees buckle and lay in the dirt and the grass shivering, I don't know how long I'd run but the morning light was now making itself known and the sun streaked shadows long and narrow along the clearing and illuminated the silhouettes of the towering trees enveloping me. I rolled over to lay on my back and took deep breaths, I blinked and no tears escaped. I'd cried all I could cry but it was enough. Some part of me hoped that I'd wake up in Deidara's arms and he'd whisper in my ear that he loved me and it was all a nightmare.

It wasn't.

Deidara, however, woke with a fresh sense of accomplishment in mind. No more lied, no more baggage. He inhaled the nicotine of his cigarette deep into his lungs and let is release through his nostrils, a plume of smoke hung in the air and he casually flicked the end onto the carpet before walking out of the room and not bothering to stub it out. His head pounded from head butting the wall the night before and sure enough the action had left a dirty, purple bruise surrounding his blackened eye. Nothing that time wouldn't heal.

He strolled through the corridors and made his way into the kitchen producing a bottle of bourbon from the fridge and taking a swig at it, the cool liquid refreshed his throat just about as much as it burnt it. He swung himself up onto the counter of the open-plan kitchen turning to face Itachi and Sasori, who at the sight of Deidara immediately silenced themselves, lounging on the sofa.

It was Hidan who broke the uncomfortable silence as he strolled in.

"Morning lads!" he greeted, inviting himself to take a swig of Dei's drink.

"Mm, nothing like the taste of bourbon in the morning, right kid?" He said cheekily, nudging Deidara in the ribs.

He chuckled and nodded "You know" he said turning to face Hidan.

"Shit, boy, what happened to your face? Rough night?" ;)

"Aha, you could say that.."

"I think it looks character building!" Added Sasori, piping up at the talk of violence.

"Remember when you had one Itachi? But you didn't notice because you can't see your reflection in the mirror" remarked a beaming Hidan much to the laughter of the others.

"Fuck off, Hidan, fuck youuu. If I remember rightly it was you with the black eye anyway, that barmaid punched you after you grabbed her ass." This did nothing but erupted the room with more laughter.

The guys looked at each other but couldn't help at laughing more, there was a silence as breath was caught but another look at Hidan proved one too much because it just resulted in more fits of laughter.

By a few hours later the four guys were quite clearly, and happily, stone cold drunk.

They all sat on the sofa crowded around the telivision set playing a game of who-knows-what.

"Oh, you can get prostitutes in this game!"

"Trust you to point that out, Hidan."

"_Hey baby looking for a good time?"_

"Hey, Sasori isn't that what you said to me the first time that we met?"

"Yes, Deidara, I thought you were a woman."

"Hey...what happened to the prostitute, she's not moving, why isnt she moving? Prostitute lady...

!" cried Hidan.

"Hidan, she's quite clearly dead." Remarked Itachi.

"NOO, WHYY, FOR WHAT REASONNN?"

"You killed her."

"_NOO, ROXANNE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO WEAR THAT RED DRESS TONIGHTT._." Much to the amusement of the other members Hidan continued to sing whilst draining the remnants of his vodka bottle..

"_ROXANNEE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SELL YOUR BODYY TO THE NIGHHT"_

Hidan sobbed as Itachi chuckled.

"Well, she doesn't have to do any of that now because she's DEAD."

Hidan continued to sod as Itachi heaved with a malicious laughter.

"She was one week away from prostitute retirement! Oh hey..she looks familiar, OH MY GOD SHE'S BACK FROM THE DEAD, _ROXANNEE YOU DON'T HAVE TO EAT THOSE BRAINS TONIGHT._ Oh my god, this game is relentless!

"Hey, Deidara speaking of prostitutes, where's Katatatatataraaa?" Sasori nonchalantly remarked.

"Hey, yeah, we ain't seen her all day.."

Reality struck down like a stone.

"Shit...shitshitshitshitshit."

"Dei..?"

"Shit, mann, shit" Dei shot up out of the seat leaving the three to collapse into one another in a bundle of laughter.

"I gotta run!" Shouted Deidara behind him to the response of

"Bring me back a prostitute too!" From Hidan.

He desperately ran to his room, checking Katara's vacant room and also tripping over his own feet many times on the way, he burst through the doors into his room and constructed a clay bird in record time that would fly him over the grounds so that he could have a better chance of finding Katara from aerial view.

In less that no time he was up in the air, the cool midday sun roasting down on his naked back and the wind whipping through his blonde tresses.


End file.
